Today is

   "A word to the wise ain't necessary --  
          it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
					-Bill Cosby

Monday, December 19, 2005

Nanny Wanted

Jaw dropping op ed article by Joel Engle, a So Cal author and journalist.

KM, I hope that THIS wasn't YOUR want ad!!!!

"IF THERE'S ever a Museum of Chutzpah, this recent classified ad in a community newspaper will be the featured exhibit:

'NANNY — FULL-TIME — MONDAY-FRIDAY: Professional couple seeks responsible, happy, engaging nanny for 3-month-old infant. 7:30 AM-6 PM M-F; $300-350/week; breakfast, lunch provided. Would consider splitting into 2 positions (morning, afternoon). Interact/play with baby, daily stroller rides, no TV; housekeeping as time allows (during baby's naps). Web cams present. No evenings/weekends/major holidays, no travel required. Qualification: infant childcare experience with references; college coursework in ECE or child development; current infant CPR/First Aid certification; fluent English; no smoking; reliable transportation to/from our … home; willingness for annual background/credit check, drug screening.'

It concludes with a phone number and, no kidding, an e-mail address. So let's recap: A professional suburban couple needs someone to raise their child from scratch. Someone with a car who'll brave two rush hours daily and work without rest 10 1/2 hours daily, 52 1/2 hours weekly, cleaning house when baby's asleep instead of checking e-mail on her PowerBook. Someone fluent in not only English but also the advanced dialect of early childhood education and development. Someone who doesn't mind Big Brother capturing her every moment for the comfort of her employers watching on the Web at their desks. Someone who'll do all that for whatever's in the fridge and $6.67 an hour — at the top end. (How high will her previous employer, whose recommendation she'll need to land this exciting position, be willing to go before dropping out of the bidding?)Obviously, this professional couple expects their lucky nanny to so adore the job, them and the child that she'll stick around year after year, given that's how often the background, credit and drug tests are scheduled for. ("Hmm, Maria, I noticed that Equifax says you're down to a 567. Just what are you doing with all that money we give you? Blowing it on more CPR and ECE certifications? I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go, young lady.")Once upon a time there was a word for this fantasy employee: Mom.Sure, that concept may be considered quaint today, but even in a world where credentialed Latinas await jobs on every corner ("Will raise your child for food"), there's still a word for the professional couple who wrote this ad. In fact, a lot of words come to mind: shameful, narcissistic, clueless. Oh, and yuppie scum.Help wanted? These people need help, all right, but not the kind they're looking for."


Blogger Kate Marie said...

Oh, my. That is sad, and yet kind of hilarious at the same time (if you subtract the poor kid from the equation).

Somehow the thing that strikes me as funniest in the whole ad is the "No T.V." requirement. What do you wanna bet the first thing this professional couple does when they take over from the happy, responsible, credentialed nanny is pop in Baby Einstein and consider their work done?

December 19, 2005 11:04 AM  
Blogger Conservative in Virginia said...

Sounds like that couple needs a wife.

December 19, 2005 1:34 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Someone needs to tell that couple that Hattie McDaniel died in 1952...

December 19, 2005 5:30 PM  
Blogger Conservative in Virginia said...

I actually have seen similar ads in local papers here. I always wonder if anyone replies to them.

December 20, 2005 8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So what is the difference between this ad and the MANY who deposit their infants into a daycare at 8 a.m. in the morning and pick them up at 6 p.m. at night?

December 20, 2005 5:15 PM  
Blogger Wonderdog said...

I love a couple that treats their children and their yachts equally; keep them both harbored away somewhere during most of your life, break them out on the weekends and holidays to show off, pay someone else to scrub their barnacles, do the maintenence and keep them "yar".

December 20, 2005 7:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How on God's green earth is a recent "child development" college grad supposed to pay off her student loans on $300 a week?

Someone should check up on them - see if they even plan to pay into social security.

We want the BEST for OUR baby. We just don't think we should have to pay for it...

December 20, 2005 9:01 PM  
Anonymous gus3 said...

Gee, there's nothing like lifting an entire copyrighted article from another web page.

December 20, 2005 9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is nothing new. I had a position eerily similar to that prior to the nanny-cam days. At first the couple described it as a "nanny" position, but it morphed into full time house cleaning and mountains of laundry after their weekend windsurfing trips as the children were never to be seen in dirty clothes even while playing. I was supposed to have dinner on the table and space the husband's shirts exactly two inches apart in the closet, while teaching their children French--all for $6.00 an hour. It was a miserable position to be in--as their darling children were little trophies for them to show the world, but apparently not darling enough for them to raise themselves.

December 20, 2005 9:23 PM  

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