Reprise of Gollum grading papers . . .
For any of our Rumpus friends who are in the throes of paper-grading, take a tip from Smeagol. Fail them, precious, fail them.
Today is
"A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice." -Bill Cosby
6 Comments:
Poor Smeagol needs to come out of his little den under the Misty Mountains.
Children can no longer receive papers with red marks on them, as it is damaging to their self-esteem. Purple is a good choice. Purple is less threatening.
Children can no longer be told their answer is wrong. Instead, it is more appropriate to tell them their answer is correct for a different question.
Oh no, Smeagol, children cannot be failed. Though they may try their best not to learn what is expected, it is we, the adults in society, who fail them by not allowing them to continue with their peers.
Though I would like to say the above is a bit of an exaggeration, the comments have actually been said throughout our educational system. I shudder to think how these children will respond when they are turned down at their first job interview.
(Ms. Kate Marie, I had to look up where Smeagol lived. I fear you may be turning me into more than just the casual LOTR movie watcher!
And Mr. Peck now groans and turns off his computer...)
It won't be long now, precious, not long. Nice, good Lisa will know all about Middle Earth, yes, precious.
Yesss, yess, Precious, we have her in our clutches now, yes. Nice, good Lisa won't listen to nasssty Peckses. Templeton Peckses . . . wicked, tricksy, false!
Here is our riddle, precious:
It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt.
It lies behind stars and under hills,
And empty holes it fills.
It comes first and follows after,
Ends life, kills laughter.
What is the answer, precious? Our final exam! (diabolical wheezing laughter).
Or try this one, precious...yesss, yesss. Try thissss one...
This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.
If I know the answer to both Mr. Madman and Ms. Scotty's riddles, must I seek refuge at Rivendell?
Or does this mean that Smeagol has me in his gnarled clutches?
I meant that the final exam I gave my students "ends life, kills laughter," though "Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal" is a good description of what my students' teeth do as they are taking it.
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