Wilbanks-Bueller Engagement Announced

The Duluth Register announced today the engagement of Jennifer Wilbanks to Ferris Bueller. Asked about the origins of this latest strange turn in the "Runaway Bride" case, Ms. Wilbanks' father explained: "Some local pranksters changed one of Jennifer's 'Missing' billboards to read 'Save Ferris.' That prompted Jenny to watch the movie, after which she enthused, 'That's my kinda man.' She's been planning their nuptials ever since." Confronted with the intrinsic problems of wedding his daughter to a fictional character, Mr. Wilbanks rejoined, "Son, that is the least of our worries. Frankly, all things considered, we view the fact that young Bueller isn't real as an asset."