The Name Game
A friend of mine is a teacher in an inner city grammar school somewhere on the East Coast. I am amazed each year when she sends out a list of the first names of her students. The all time award goes to Shithead (pronounced Sha-theed), but there are some interesting ones in this group. The parents naming boys are frankly falling down on the job, but those who are naming their daughters are putting in overtime.
I am not. . I repeat. . am not making this up.
The list for 2006:
The girls
Thalia
Angelique
Ariel
Essence
Ashalee Vianey
Tyrania
Maiah
Vivian
Zelidon
Umana
Evelin
The boys
Majd
Kevin Troy
Jordan
Miguel
Daniel
Tyreek
George
Danny
Jorge
Ackil
Emery
Jerry
Charlie
Gilberto
Jonathan
David
UPDATE: A first grader in the school is named God Unlimited. I kid you not!
I am not. . I repeat. . am not making this up.
The list for 2006:
The girls
Thalia
Angelique
Ariel
Essence
Ashalee Vianey
Tyrania
Maiah
Vivian
Zelidon
Umana
Evelin
The boys
Majd
Kevin Troy
Jordan
Miguel
Daniel
Tyreek
George
Danny
Jorge
Ackil
Emery
Jerry
Charlie
Gilberto
Jonathan
David
UPDATE: A first grader in the school is named God Unlimited. I kid you not!
posted by stewdog | 8:46 PM | Permalink
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4 comments
4 Comments:
Marvellous. Essence is quite passé, I must say, but Maia's gratuitous 'h' is an innovation. And if Thalia doesn't have a Melpomene for a sister, there's something not right with the world.
Re: the boys, I think 'Tyreek' makes up for any number of Georges and Charlies.
n.b. can't say I concur with your all-time fave. Here in Canadia, there are almost as many Shitheads as there are, say, Dougs. I mean, there are at least a dozen Shitheads at my workplace alone.
I could probably top that list, even leaving out the obviously foreign ones, but I must say I've never seen a S******d name listed.
A teacher told me once she had a girl student named "Female" and pronounced Feh-mal-ee. Seems the parents thought the hospital assigned first names in the USA. Poor kid.
How did Danny, Charlie, and David sneak in there? Who goofed? I've got to know!!
Menace, why stop at Melpomene? Maybe there is a complete set including Calliope, Clio, Euterpe, Terpischore, Erato, Polyhymnia, and Urania?
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