Grammy live-blogging yet again
Trying to make this a horrific tradition so...here goes again...
I think I've once again tuned into this show an hour or two late. Just waiting for the commercial before I begin viewing the carnage:
Don't know who the guy is introducing her but he said, she's "True musical royalty...Mary J. Blige"...I've kind of heard of her. She seems like royalty, though...in an evening gown and "tatted up" (if you're not cool, that means she has tattoos). I just heard my first "y'all" of the night. Glad we got that over with quickly.
Mandy Moore, LeAnn Rimes, and Luke Wilson (some Wilson brother always turns up at one of these things...Whatever happened to the Baldwins?) take the stage. Both pass off the nominees to LeAnn, because they don't want to be associated in any way with country music, which is the category.
When these country music nominess are introduced, it sounds like everyone is clapping with oven mitts on. Uh oh...Dixie Chicks won. I guess if you have to go country, you might as well go skanks. No Dolly Parton here -- just good old-fashioned anti-americans.
They just showed Tony Bennett in attendance. His downward squint seems to indicate he's up in the rafters somewhere. Sorry, Tony, only pimps, thugs, skanks and ho's allowed on the ground floor.
Oh Oh...Reba Macentyre...oven mitts are clapping again. Oh no...she's showing a bunch of old black and white clips of people in cowboy hats. I can hear the collective sound of bling bling Rolexes being checked right now...
She introduces Carrie Underwood and she's doing a blue-grass number. I'm expecting a tomato any second...nothing yet. There's an old guy in a cowboy hat playing the fiddle beside her whom I'm sure doesn't know a P from a Diddy...
Now another country guy...missed his name...is doing a cover of "Hotel California"...Sounds pretty good. Though, it's a bit rocked-out. Interesting that we haven't seen the audience in about 8 minutes. These acts must have been pre-recorded and staged elsewhere. That would explain the absence of flying vegetables...
Now Carrie is doing a scaled down-"Desperado"...Sounds good. Uh oh...she succumbed to some peer-pressure...I just heard a couple soul-trill thingies..."Despera-a-a-uh-aaaa-do"....
Natalie Cole now and Ornette Coleman? I think that's his name. Best new artist...Carrie Underwood. Natalie Cole almost apologized before announcing the name.
Carrie just said she "loves country music" and I could swear the only sound from the audience was Snoop Dogg's home arrest ankle bracelet beeping...
Now Samuel Jackson and (I think the girl from "The Adam's Family")...Let me figure out what they're doing...Introducing Smokey Robinson. I must say that so far I'm a bit disappointed in the lack of degenerates thus far. Smokey's doing "Tracks of My Tears"...He wants us to "take a good look at his face" but after, what appears to be 10 face-lifts, I'd rather not. I Like Smokey, though.
Wow...now Lionel Richie doing "Hello". I got nothing to say. I'm thinking the Grammys read my post from last year and have done this just to vex me! At least they're not playing that really lame blind girl, clay artist video that went along with this song.
Okay here we go, finally some vulgaity...Chris Brown...true hip-hop horror. No time to really explain but he's in some kind of sweats and a hood with...yes...a skeleton mask. Mask comes off now and biggest roar from the crowd. He's got two 8 year olds gyrating beside him. Crowd goes wild for the Bling Blingers in training...He just did that pump the chest with the fist two times thingy...crowd goes wild. Smokey and Lionel now taking bows with this kid. It's clear they hate him.
Oh no...Christina Aguilera...she came up from the bottom of the stage...Why can't Lionel and Smokey get an entrance like that? For each of them it looked like they had to struggle on stage hauling their own equipment. She has platinum hair and is sounding very much like some Whitney Houston re-hash. So tired of these extended vowel song voices...."It's a maaa---aaaa---uh-ay ay uh uh uh uh uh--aaa---an's world!" (that would be "man's world" to you and me) Try to whistle that one...
President of the recording academy now...white guy with glasses. Muffled oven mitt sound emanating again. Oh no...He introduced a young asian girl violinist...groan...now introduced a young, black male pianist...roar!..hmm...weird. But I guess this audience is so musically savvy that they know the black kid is a superior musician.
Now artists we've lost montage...We know how this works...silence for any old, grainy image of any white personage...applause for anything other than white, even if old and grainy image.
James Brown gets the biggest roar here and I really have no problem with that but...I swear maybe I'm really tired but...trying to catch up to the images and thought I saw Ed Bradley get a roar being listed as a "music fan". Okay, then...where's Gerald Ford? I'm sure he liked music too...deep sigh.
I'm sure nobody's with me anymore...
Okay...time for Ludacris. Crowd can't contain themselves. I'm not hip enough. I don't know what he's saying. The rap is too fast for me. All I can get is that it's about someone named "Lil' Stacey" and I think she got shot...I think...she was having "sex with a boy who's 16". Song over. Crowd on its feet. 'Nuff said.
Now James Blunt...I actually know this song ("You're Beautiful"). Even though it's an acoustic guitar, I'm not a big fan of it. "I saw your face in a crowded place and I don't know what to do...cuz I'll never be with you." Well...I suppose you could ask for her number, if it's that distressing.
Is anyone there anymore? This torture will end soon...Just waiting for album of the year for one last smart-ass remark.
There's some award now for "favorite grammy moment"...Perhaps voted online? I don't know. The award is given to "Robin Drew" for some moment she had with Justin Timberlake. They're showing a clip of it now and it looks like a bad high school talent show moment. They keep putting microphones inside their mouths, closing their eyes, lifting their eye-brows, shaking their heads, and taking one vowel sound through every trill the voice can fathom. I...just...hate it.
I just heard Justin Timberlake has already won two Grammys tonight. I guess this means we can count on Leonardo DiCaprio taking home a couple Oscars.
Record of the year -- Dixie Chicks. Who cares. Feel obligated to mention it.
I'm done... just can't...anymore...just...can't...any....more...I'm gonna abort this mission...note to self...never do this again...
Update: Okay, with half-closed eyes, I see none other than Al Gore and Queen Latifa announce Rock Album of the year. To get the visual, think Jabba-the-hut and...well...Queen Latifa. Winner is Red Hot Chili Peppers. Bush fights the war on terror and Gore presents Grammys. Thank you, Forida...
Okay, I'll fulfill my ugly duty...Album of the year...Dixie Chicks. Who cares.
I think I've once again tuned into this show an hour or two late. Just waiting for the commercial before I begin viewing the carnage:
Don't know who the guy is introducing her but he said, she's "True musical royalty...Mary J. Blige"...I've kind of heard of her. She seems like royalty, though...in an evening gown and "tatted up" (if you're not cool, that means she has tattoos). I just heard my first "y'all" of the night. Glad we got that over with quickly.
Mandy Moore, LeAnn Rimes, and Luke Wilson (some Wilson brother always turns up at one of these things...Whatever happened to the Baldwins?) take the stage. Both pass off the nominees to LeAnn, because they don't want to be associated in any way with country music, which is the category.
When these country music nominess are introduced, it sounds like everyone is clapping with oven mitts on. Uh oh...Dixie Chicks won. I guess if you have to go country, you might as well go skanks. No Dolly Parton here -- just good old-fashioned anti-americans.
They just showed Tony Bennett in attendance. His downward squint seems to indicate he's up in the rafters somewhere. Sorry, Tony, only pimps, thugs, skanks and ho's allowed on the ground floor.
Oh Oh...Reba Macentyre...oven mitts are clapping again. Oh no...she's showing a bunch of old black and white clips of people in cowboy hats. I can hear the collective sound of bling bling Rolexes being checked right now...
She introduces Carrie Underwood and she's doing a blue-grass number. I'm expecting a tomato any second...nothing yet. There's an old guy in a cowboy hat playing the fiddle beside her whom I'm sure doesn't know a P from a Diddy...
Now another country guy...missed his name...is doing a cover of "Hotel California"...Sounds pretty good. Though, it's a bit rocked-out. Interesting that we haven't seen the audience in about 8 minutes. These acts must have been pre-recorded and staged elsewhere. That would explain the absence of flying vegetables...
Now Carrie is doing a scaled down-"Desperado"...Sounds good. Uh oh...she succumbed to some peer-pressure...I just heard a couple soul-trill thingies..."Despera-a-a-uh-aaaa-do"....
Natalie Cole now and Ornette Coleman? I think that's his name. Best new artist...Carrie Underwood. Natalie Cole almost apologized before announcing the name.
Carrie just said she "loves country music" and I could swear the only sound from the audience was Snoop Dogg's home arrest ankle bracelet beeping...
Now Samuel Jackson and (I think the girl from "The Adam's Family")...Let me figure out what they're doing...Introducing Smokey Robinson. I must say that so far I'm a bit disappointed in the lack of degenerates thus far. Smokey's doing "Tracks of My Tears"...He wants us to "take a good look at his face" but after, what appears to be 10 face-lifts, I'd rather not. I Like Smokey, though.
Wow...now Lionel Richie doing "Hello". I got nothing to say. I'm thinking the Grammys read my post from last year and have done this just to vex me! At least they're not playing that really lame blind girl, clay artist video that went along with this song.
Okay here we go, finally some vulgaity...Chris Brown...true hip-hop horror. No time to really explain but he's in some kind of sweats and a hood with...yes...a skeleton mask. Mask comes off now and biggest roar from the crowd. He's got two 8 year olds gyrating beside him. Crowd goes wild for the Bling Blingers in training...He just did that pump the chest with the fist two times thingy...crowd goes wild. Smokey and Lionel now taking bows with this kid. It's clear they hate him.
Oh no...Christina Aguilera...she came up from the bottom of the stage...Why can't Lionel and Smokey get an entrance like that? For each of them it looked like they had to struggle on stage hauling their own equipment. She has platinum hair and is sounding very much like some Whitney Houston re-hash. So tired of these extended vowel song voices...."It's a maaa---aaaa---uh-ay ay uh uh uh uh uh--aaa---an's world!" (that would be "man's world" to you and me) Try to whistle that one...
President of the recording academy now...white guy with glasses. Muffled oven mitt sound emanating again. Oh no...He introduced a young asian girl violinist...groan...now introduced a young, black male pianist...roar!..hmm...weird. But I guess this audience is so musically savvy that they know the black kid is a superior musician.
Now artists we've lost montage...We know how this works...silence for any old, grainy image of any white personage...applause for anything other than white, even if old and grainy image.
James Brown gets the biggest roar here and I really have no problem with that but...I swear maybe I'm really tired but...trying to catch up to the images and thought I saw Ed Bradley get a roar being listed as a "music fan". Okay, then...where's Gerald Ford? I'm sure he liked music too...deep sigh.
I'm sure nobody's with me anymore...
Okay...time for Ludacris. Crowd can't contain themselves. I'm not hip enough. I don't know what he's saying. The rap is too fast for me. All I can get is that it's about someone named "Lil' Stacey" and I think she got shot...I think...she was having "sex with a boy who's 16". Song over. Crowd on its feet. 'Nuff said.
Now James Blunt...I actually know this song ("You're Beautiful"). Even though it's an acoustic guitar, I'm not a big fan of it. "I saw your face in a crowded place and I don't know what to do...cuz I'll never be with you." Well...I suppose you could ask for her number, if it's that distressing.
Is anyone there anymore? This torture will end soon...Just waiting for album of the year for one last smart-ass remark.
There's some award now for "favorite grammy moment"...Perhaps voted online? I don't know. The award is given to "Robin Drew" for some moment she had with Justin Timberlake. They're showing a clip of it now and it looks like a bad high school talent show moment. They keep putting microphones inside their mouths, closing their eyes, lifting their eye-brows, shaking their heads, and taking one vowel sound through every trill the voice can fathom. I...just...hate it.
I just heard Justin Timberlake has already won two Grammys tonight. I guess this means we can count on Leonardo DiCaprio taking home a couple Oscars.
Record of the year -- Dixie Chicks. Who cares. Feel obligated to mention it.
I'm done... just can't...anymore...just...can't...any....more...I'm gonna abort this mission...note to self...never do this again...
Update: Okay, with half-closed eyes, I see none other than Al Gore and Queen Latifa announce Rock Album of the year. To get the visual, think Jabba-the-hut and...well...Queen Latifa. Winner is Red Hot Chili Peppers. Bush fights the war on terror and Gore presents Grammys. Thank you, Forida...
Okay, I'll fulfill my ugly duty...Album of the year...Dixie Chicks. Who cares.
posted by Wonderdog | 9:28 PM | Permalink
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6 comments
6 Comments:
Thanks for saving me several hours of my life! How did you manage to sit through that entire mess?
Oh my gosh, Wonderdog, I would have bet big money you'd never sit through it again.
Al Gore and Queen Latifah? Yikes!
...even I couldn't sit through this Wonderdog...I caught Mary J."Bling" give her thank Y'all speech of over 55 names as the music tried desperately to get her off the stage and switched over to PBS for a wonderful documentry on the Pioneers of TV...Milton Burle, Burns, and Allen, Bob Hope, Red Skelten,...entertainers who went from being stars in Vaudville, to Radio to TV....who could act, sing, dance, you name it...but of course who would want to watch THAT when you can see Mary J. sing ya'll?...
You're a better man than I, Mr. Wonderdog. I took a look at the lineup and passed on the entire thing. Then I looked at the Times this morning, paying homage to the darlings of the left, the Dixie Womyn.
That's all politics. They got shut out of the Country Music Awards because they have p***ed off the right. How many of the votes for them were not for their music, but because they were "brave" enough to stand up to the First Decider?
The Grammy's used to be a great show. I remember back in 85 when Graceland, Back in the High Life, and So were all nominated. And as much as I enjoyed the Police. . give it a rest guys.
I took another one for the team. Who's next? KM, SD, one of you has to take the Oscars...and then there's the Emmys, Tonys, People's Global Golden Viewer Audience Choice Awards, MTV In 3-D Awards, etc., etc., etc...
Seriously, though; which Rumpuser is live-blogging the Oscars? I'd really like to make a sick and pathetic tradition out of live-blogging these shows.
I like the Oscars. I watch it every year to see film clips, especially the necrology. I like to see the pretty actresses in their pretty dresses. I wait to see who, if anyone, will misbehave.
I will be too busy watching to make fun of it in realtime, but you go ahead WD and I will be glad to throw in my smart alec 2 cents afterward.
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