Feeling the urge to paint my face blue
I drink 2% milk, my wife drinks skim milk, and our (almost) two year old son drinks whole milk. Our refrigerator pretty much has the milk gamut covered. A two percenter are you? Coming right up. Partial to the skim variety? Here you are. Whole milk, you say? Voila! My dilemma this evening, however, was the disturbing discovery that we were out of my 2%. No problem, I think, and proceed to fill my glass half with skim and half with whole. I occasionally sip this concoction as I type -- not bad.
Who among you would have done as I have done? How many of you would have foregone the Ding Dong in the forlorn knowledge that your milk was not available to accompany it? How many of you would have had your Ding Dong , content to eat it without the full enjoyment the experience deserves? I dare say all of you would have relegated yourselves to the latter two alternatives! I dare say none of you would have done as I dared to do!
Aye, mix milk and you may not like the taste. Don't mix and you'll live...at least for a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance...Just one chance!...To come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our 2%, but they'll never take...our MILK!!
Who among you would have done as I have done? How many of you would have foregone the Ding Dong in the forlorn knowledge that your milk was not available to accompany it? How many of you would have had your Ding Dong , content to eat it without the full enjoyment the experience deserves? I dare say all of you would have relegated yourselves to the latter two alternatives! I dare say none of you would have done as I dared to do!
Aye, mix milk and you may not like the taste. Don't mix and you'll live...at least for a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance...Just one chance!...To come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our 2%, but they'll never take...our MILK!!
posted by Wonderdog | 12:50 AM | Permalink
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8 comments
8 Comments:
Wonderdog, I think your meaning is deeper than milk, but I'm a surface kind of person. Ergo, I will only support your surface argument.
I have bought whole milk and skim milk and mixed them to make an approximate 2% milk. If I only had a realistic 2% container hanging around, nobody would have been the wiser.
Well now you've stolen my thunder, CIV. And here I thought I was daring to go where none had gone before...
I'm curious. Do you intentionally buy the whole and skim and then mix the two or have you resorted to this only when confronted with missing 2%?
Milk mixers of the world, unite!
I have one very particular milk drinker who must have Lactaid Brand 100% lactose free 2% milk. Store brands won't do; 70% lactose free is not enough (who needs only partialy free, anyway?); and 2% is the preferred fat content. However, the local grocer sometimes runs out of this particular combination. That's when I mix up my own.
One trick is to say, "the milk containers were leaking, so I poured it into these glass containers," and then hide the empty whole and skim containers at the bottom of the trash can.
Oy vay...what a tangled web we weave...
I don't outright lie, but I don't mind misleading a bit in order to avoid whining.
CIV, just one thing and please believe me when I say that Wonderdog's meanderings were of the strictly 'surface' variety. Lucky for him, our almost two year old will soon be moving on to his preferred level of milk fat.
And, oh -- Wonderdog as William Wallace!! Ha! I'm rollin' on the floor with that one!!
Scotty -- I can still kick your ay ess ess!
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