Madison Avenue Firm Hired to "Sex Up" Shavuot

The advertising firm of Shwartz and Zemkoff has been hired by the URC (United Rabbinic Council) to "retool" the image of Shavuot, the Jewish festival which began the night of June 12th. "Shavuot gets far too little 'airplay,'" explained Rabbi Shmuel Gelbfarb of the URC, "even less than Tisha B'av, and that's saying something." "We want to give Shavuot a new image," said S&Z executive David Gottinhimmel. "Who has fond Shavuot memories from childhood? We basically set out to retool this holiday- this isn't your grandfather's Shavuot." S&Z has focused on lesser-known and practiced Shavuot traditions, like the custom of staying up all night reading before the holiday begins, adding a special "Shavuot" edition of the Batman comic to the Tikkun Lel Shavuot, the traditional anthology of readings compiled for the night-long vigil. Combining the two traditions of eating dairy on Shavuot and its commemoration of the granting of the Torah at Sinai, S&Z has launched a new ice cream flavor, "Ten Commandment Crunch," soon available in major supermarkets. "What's a holiday without songs?" asked Gottinhimmel. "We've crafted seven new melodies for use in commemorating Shavuot, like this one, Shavuot, O Shavuot :

It's seven weeks after Pesach, and I can't wait
Shavuot is comin' and it's gonna be great
Whether it comes in late June or early July
I know you're gonna wanna give it a try
Shavuot.....O, Shavuot...."