Today is


   "A word to the wise ain't necessary --  
          it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
					-Bill Cosby

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


Duelling Song Lyrics

In response to Stewdog's recent "toast and Jethro Tull" post, I offer what I consider to be the greatest song lyrics ever written (and it has nothing to do with toast, but broccoli plays a small role):

[Reno]
At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best,
Instead of getting 'em off my chest,
To let 'em rest unexpressed,
I hate parading my serenading
As I'll probably miss a bar,
But if this ditty is not so pretty
At least it'll tell you
How great you are.

You're the top!
You're the Colosseum.
You're the top!
You're the Louvre Museum.
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss
You're a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare sonnet,
You're Mickey Mouse.

You're the Nile,
You're the Tower of Pisa,
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

[BILLY]
Your words poetic are not pathetic.
On the other hand, babe, you shine,
And I can feel after every line
A thrill divine Down my spine.
ow gifted humans like Vincent Youmans
Might think that your song is bad,
But I got a notion I'll second the motion
And this is what I'm going to add;

You're the top! You're Mahatma Gandhi.
You're the top! You're Napoleon Brandy.
You're the purple light Of a summer night in Spain,
You're the National Gallery
You're Garbo's salary,
You're cellophane.

You're sublime,
You're a turkey dinner,
You're the time of a Derby winner
I'm a toy balloon that is fated soon to pop
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

[RENO]
You're the top!
You're an arrow collar
You're the top!
You're a Coolidge dollar,
You're the nimble tread
Of the feet of Fred Astaire,
You're an O'Neill drama,

[BILLY]
You're Whistler's mama,

[RENO]
You're camembert.

[BILLY]
You're a rose,
You're Inferno's Dante,

[RENO]
You're the nose
On the great Durante.
I'm just in a way, As the French would say, "de trop".
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

[BILLY]
You're the top!
You're a dance in Bali.
You're the top!
You're a hot tamale.
You're an angel, you, Simply too, too, too diveen,
You're a Boticcelli,

[RENO]
You're Keats,

[BILLY]
You're Shelly,

[RENO]
You're Ovaltine.

[BILLY]
You're a boom,
You're the dam at Boulder,
You're the moon,
Over Mae West's shoulder,
I'm the nominee of the G.O.P.

[RENO]
Or GOP!

[BILLY]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom, You're the top!

[RENO]
You're the top!
You're a Waldorf salad.
You're the top!
You're a Berlin ballad.
You're the boats that glide
On the sleepy Zuider Zee,
You're an old Dutch master,

[BILLY]
You're Lady Astor,

[RENO]
You're broccoli.

[BILLY]
You're romance,
You're the steppes of Russia,
You're the pants on a Roxy usher,
I'm a broken doll, a fol-de-rol, a flop,

[BOTH]
But if, baby, I'm the bottom, You're the top!

2 Comments:

Blogger stewdog said...

And since "Anything Goes", I suppose that Rosie will be signing both parts as soon as Fidler closes.

August 09, 2005 3:28 PM  
Blogger Conservative in Virginia said...

CIV has way too many song lyrics and jingles stuck in the brain, but can't help loving them. I think this is my current favorite -- at least for today. Just please don't let Rosie sing Combat Rock.

August 10, 2005 5:18 AM  

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