101 reasons why I hate the Clintons
My name is Wonderdog and I'm a Clinton hater. Do I hate them with the noxiousness with which many hate Bush? After pausing a moment at my keyboard to reflect upon that question, I'll venture an outstretched hand, backside up, wiggle it a little and say, "eh." I do say "them" mind you. Be it Bubba, Rodham or Roger (Chelsea isn't fair game so I'll leave her out).
You think I'm kidding about Roger? Well, I'm not. He can take his Miami Vice blazer and t-shirt; his mullet and goofy grin and go (urinate) up a rope!
Okay maybe I'm kidding a little about Roger.
I guess that really just leaves me with Bill and Hill. Why do I hate them so much? Not for their ideology because they simply don't have one. I hate them because...(drum roll please)...They're whores. Yes whores, in the political sense that is (though Bill comes close to the other type as well).
Here is my belief. The Clintons would each sell those 101 dalmations to Cruella DeVille if it meant a sizable donation to their campaign. You may think I'm being cute here but I truly mean it. Is there anyone reading this who really doubts that? Of course the transaction would have to be hush-hush with assurances that it would never be made public and all but, aside from that proviso, they'd make the deal. Dalmations for donations, baby!
This post has gone perversely astray but I think I may have stumbled on to a brilliant barometer by which to measure a politician's character. Who would go "dalmation" for a donation?
Bush? I really don't think so. Do you?
Cheney? Nah.
Rudy? Just don't see it.
Condi? Don't feel I know her well enough yet.
Lieberman? Nah.
Gore? Uh...anyone have a dog net?
John Kerry? Of course.
John McCain? Something tells me that little weasle would do it.
Feel free to apply the test to the politician of your choice and it's not too hard to get an immediate gut reaction as to whether they'd go "dalmation" on you.
I forgot why I started this post in the first place. Oh, yeah. Bill Clinton said some really stupid things to a graduating class at the University of Texas yesterday.
You think I'm kidding about Roger? Well, I'm not. He can take his Miami Vice blazer and t-shirt; his mullet and goofy grin and go (urinate) up a rope!
Okay maybe I'm kidding a little about Roger.
I guess that really just leaves me with Bill and Hill. Why do I hate them so much? Not for their ideology because they simply don't have one. I hate them because...(drum roll please)...They're whores. Yes whores, in the political sense that is (though Bill comes close to the other type as well).
Here is my belief. The Clintons would each sell those 101 dalmations to Cruella DeVille if it meant a sizable donation to their campaign. You may think I'm being cute here but I truly mean it. Is there anyone reading this who really doubts that? Of course the transaction would have to be hush-hush with assurances that it would never be made public and all but, aside from that proviso, they'd make the deal. Dalmations for donations, baby!
This post has gone perversely astray but I think I may have stumbled on to a brilliant barometer by which to measure a politician's character. Who would go "dalmation" for a donation?
Bush? I really don't think so. Do you?
Cheney? Nah.
Rudy? Just don't see it.
Condi? Don't feel I know her well enough yet.
Lieberman? Nah.
Gore? Uh...anyone have a dog net?
John Kerry? Of course.
John McCain? Something tells me that little weasle would do it.
Feel free to apply the test to the politician of your choice and it's not too hard to get an immediate gut reaction as to whether they'd go "dalmation" on you.
I forgot why I started this post in the first place. Oh, yeah. Bill Clinton said some really stupid things to a graduating class at the University of Texas yesterday.
posted by Wonderdog | 12:06 AM | Permalink
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6 comments
6 Comments:
Does Rep. William Jefferson (D-La) meet the criteria? I mean, "dalmations for donations" implies you'd use the cash to get reelected. How about if you'd use the cash to fill your freezer instead?
Don't you love how he (allegedly) takes the bribe, but doesn't fulfill his part of the bargain? Is it a bribe if you don't actually perform the requested service? Maybe he was just (cold) storing up the evidence for a sting of his own!
The dog analogy is understndable, having watched your Angels this weekend.
To Mr. Clinton: If we "get off our butts" and start moving around, won't we generate more heat and exacerbate global warming? Slakerism must be encouraged.
CIV, Jefferson's off the charts. The guy doesn't even know how to compensate a good bribe! It's not often that I get to quote the film that our blog was named for but this is a good opportunity:
"It's a wrong situation. It's gettin' so a businessman can't expect no return from a fixed fight. Now if you can't trust a fix, what can you trust? For a good return you gotta go bettin' on chance, and then you're back with anarchy. Right back inna jungle. On account of the breakdown of ethics. That's why ethics is important. It's the grease makes us get along, what separates us from the animals, beasts a burden, beasts a prey. Ethics."
Jefferson ain't got no ethics. Even the corrupt kind.
SD, Angels will win the World Series this year. You heard it here first. We're hurt and we're going to get healthy and also acqure a big bat. Laugh now my friend but time will tell...time will tell.
Ah, one of my favorite speeches from a movie full of great lines. But you have to say it the way Johnny Caspar says it -- "ettics."
I've heard of "cold hard cash", but that takes the cake.
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