The Path to Healing

Mel Gibson has asked to meet with Jewish leaders to find "an appropriate path to healing." As a revered leader in the Jewish community I think I can offer Mel the only two surefire ways to earn the forgiveness of our people. The first is an ancient ritual called "kissen tuchas," which Mel should attempt to perform on every member of the Jewish community here and abroad. This should immediately be followed in each case by the penitential ritual known as "essen dreck." For my part, I can assure Mr. Gibson that as soon as he has performed this expiatory circuit I will again watch one of his films.