"Socialization": a stick sharpened at both ends . . .
Kim du Toit takes aim at one of the common and most specious objections to homeschooling:
When we talk to people about homeschooling our kids, and are asked what we did about “socialization”, our answer is dismissive. Here’s the gist of it.
We were never interested in having our kids learning to socialize from a group of peers who were as clueless about the process as they themselves were. High school kids, unsupervised, are the most feral little beasts on the planet, and we saw no reason why we should subject our kids to that ordeal. The most common response to that statement was usually, “It makes them tougher” or “They learn how to cope with a hostile environment, like they may encounter in the adult world”.
Specious nonsense. In the outside world, when you are immersed in a “hostile environment” (work, university, whatever), you have the means to leave it. That’s not the case in high school, where you are coerced into staying together with no options to separate yourself from your tormentors.
Another response is that the kids “miss out on so much”. Yeah, Daughter really misses that experience of perpetual teasing about her weight, and the physical bullying that went along with it, coupled with sadistic gym teachers who forced her to run a mile during PE class, in the hot sun.
I have taken to referring to the popular model of socialization as "Lord of the Flies" socialization.
If you want an example of how it works, take a look at Welcome to the Dollhouse, the blackest of comedies and one of the bleakest depictions of adolescence I've seen. There's a whiff of the hipster's provincial disdain for suburbia in the film, but its portrayal of the brutal world of middle school socialization is devastating and acutely observed, for all its satirical hyperbole. There are adults in the film, but they are completely removed from any truly authoritative or supervisory role in the children's daily lives -- and that's a situation that is neither natural nor inevitable.
(Via Dr. Helen)
When we talk to people about homeschooling our kids, and are asked what we did about “socialization”, our answer is dismissive. Here’s the gist of it.
We were never interested in having our kids learning to socialize from a group of peers who were as clueless about the process as they themselves were. High school kids, unsupervised, are the most feral little beasts on the planet, and we saw no reason why we should subject our kids to that ordeal. The most common response to that statement was usually, “It makes them tougher” or “They learn how to cope with a hostile environment, like they may encounter in the adult world”.
Specious nonsense. In the outside world, when you are immersed in a “hostile environment” (work, university, whatever), you have the means to leave it. That’s not the case in high school, where you are coerced into staying together with no options to separate yourself from your tormentors.
Another response is that the kids “miss out on so much”. Yeah, Daughter really misses that experience of perpetual teasing about her weight, and the physical bullying that went along with it, coupled with sadistic gym teachers who forced her to run a mile during PE class, in the hot sun.
I have taken to referring to the popular model of socialization as "Lord of the Flies" socialization.
If you want an example of how it works, take a look at Welcome to the Dollhouse, the blackest of comedies and one of the bleakest depictions of adolescence I've seen. There's a whiff of the hipster's provincial disdain for suburbia in the film, but its portrayal of the brutal world of middle school socialization is devastating and acutely observed, for all its satirical hyperbole. There are adults in the film, but they are completely removed from any truly authoritative or supervisory role in the children's daily lives -- and that's a situation that is neither natural nor inevitable.
(Via Dr. Helen)
posted by Kate Marie | 10:36 AM | Permalink
|
2 comments
2 Comments:
KM, some friends homeschooled their son. The mom sometimes worried about the socialization, a worry fueled by others' comments and sometimes her son's snippy remarks (though he asked to be homeschooled and mainly enjoyed it). I pointed out that he was being "socialized" by adults, the environment he would soon be in and would be for the rest of his life. Those 4 years of being "socialized" by HS are totally worthless once you get to college and beyond.
He recently graduated from college and soon will be signing up to serve in the US military.
CIV, good for your friends, and congratulations to them and their son.
The socialization canard has always struck me as bizarre, and I wonder why parents keep buying into it. I didn't really have a "Welcome to the Dollhouse" experience in high school (I went to an all-girls Catholic school), but I certainly don't think the social "rules" I learned in middle and high school could be applied to any social context beyond organized middle and high school.
And where do parents and "educators" get this notion that it's natural or desirable to have children socialized primarily by other children?
I'm not dogmatically against schools, obviously -- my daughter goes to one -- but I'm much more comfortable with schools that recognize the importance of a strong supervisory/authoritative role for adults in the children's daily lives, both academic and social.
Post a Comment
<< Home