Today is

   "A word to the wise ain't necessary --  
          it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
					-Bill Cosby

Monday, October 06, 2008's time for a

Okay, I'm in a bad mood. My Angels lost tonight in a manner that would be too cruel a punishment for low-lifes and scallywags...and perhaps even the drowners of puppies and Roman tax-collectors. Without getting into too much detail, it involved a booted double-play ball, a ridiculous bloop double, and a botched suicide squeeze; all at the hands of the most despicable band of putrid scum to ever don ballcaps -- the Boston Red Sox. Water-boarding? Pshaw! You don't know torture until you've seen Reggie Willits hung out to dry down the third-base line!

Therefore, let the rant begin! (Warning: This post may be unsuitable for those who are easily offended by whining, complaining, and venting for venting's own sake)

Tina Fey can take her one-trick monkey impersonation of Sarah Palin and shove it right up her "who's on first?" orifice! That bit's getting old, brother! Okay, okay, we get it...she talks hokey and says things like "galdarnit"...good one...let's move on now, shall we? That gag's got whiskers on it. It was funny for a minute but don't let it go to your head. Yes, you were hot for a nano-second but so too was that "where's the beef?" lady and "Joe Isuzu". Congratulations, Ms.'ll receive a lifetime achievement award in the one-hit-wonder hall of fame and the presenters will be the geriatric band members from "Aha" and Dana Carvey in full "church lady" regalia.

The women from "The View" need to stop the incessant chatter. I've never watched the show but just the snippets I've seen on political shows is enough to make the Venus de Milo reach for the remote.

Anyone and anything associated with the names Fannie and Freddie should be taken to the edge of a cliff and summarily dumped. Not so fast there, Ms. Flagg! Whoa there, Krueger -- in the truck!

Barack Obama, William Ayers, the Reverend Wright and Tony Rezko need to be put into one of those two-dimensional square mirror things from the movie "Superman" and sent aimlessly spinning into outer-space. And let's squeeze Rosie O'donnell in there just for the heck of it!

I'd like to do one of those have your friend get down on all fours behind Keith Olberman and then push him backwards things...

I'd love it if John McCain were to say at the end of tomorrow night's townhall debate, "Senator Obama, Joe Biden was certainly are articulate and clean."

Every time I watch Barney Frank, I keep waiting for him to morph into some kind of frightening rabbit man. Has anyone else had this strange vision? I seriously see the ears forming above his head and the whiskers forming around his twitchy nose. Then he starts talking while holding a carrot and munching it with his nibbley mouth. (I'm not so sure this one is a rant so much as a cry for help.)

Did I mention that the Red Sox were putrid scum?


Blogger Kate Marie said...

Joe Isuzu -- whatever happened to him?

I thought I'd hate the Red Sox less when they got rid of Manny Ramirez, but I hate them *more.* In fact, if it comes down to the Red Sox and the Dodgers, I'm going with Manny and the boys in blue. *That's* how much I hate the Red Sox.

Oy, the pain.

October 07, 2008 8:01 AM  
Blogger Scotty said...

I just did a spit-take with my cheese burrito while picturing Frank sprouting ears.

October 07, 2008 10:51 AM  
Blogger Conservative in Virginia said...

Now just a cotton pick'n' minute there, Wonder Dog. Bugs Bunny does not sound at all like Barney Frank. It's Elmer Fudd he sounds like. I keep thinking he's going to start calling McCain "that Wascally Wepublican!"

October 07, 2008 5:15 PM  
Blogger Conservative in Virginia said...

Oops. That came out wrong. It should read:

Barney Frank does not sound at all like Bugs Bunny. It's Elmer Fudd he [BF] sounds like.

October 07, 2008 5:17 PM  

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