blogs from underground

In honor of Superbowl weekend, it's of course time to select my political football team. I know what you're thinking -- Ugh...another political football team selection?? Haven't we had enough of these?? Here goes:

QB = W of course. With the game on the line, he's my guy.

Fullback = Arnold. Who else? Would you want to be the corner trying to meet his lead block?

Halfback = I'm gonna go with Rudy Giuliani here. What he might lack in speed and agility, he'll make up for in determination and toughness. If I need a yard, I'm giving it to Rudy, dammit.

Wide Outs = Steve Largent for one (duh). J.C. Watts for the other. (Before you start crying about one or both of them no longer being in Congress, I make the rules here and I say you don't have to be presently in office to qualify, okay?)

Offensive Line = Clarence Thomas (Right Tackle). Bill Bennett (Right Guard). Gimme Denny Hastert at (Center). Ted Kennedy (Left Guard). Shoot, I'll even take Al Sharpton at (Left Tackle). Look, my line doesn't have to agree on Social Security, okay? They just need to put their big bodies on someone and create holes for Rudy.

Tight End = Dick Cheney.

Water Boy = Joe Lieberman.

Coach = John McCain. Again, look, I'm not fond of the guy's wishy washy politics but he fits the bill perfectly. Can't you just see him as a retro kinda Lombardi type? He's the perfect guy to stand there in coat and tie with a tweed hat, screaming at the officials.

So there you have it. Let's go get 'em team! Let's get out there and lay a hat on someone! Let's play some smash-mouth football! W, look off that free safety! Don't let him cheat in on you! Sell that play-action and freeze those linebackers! Arnie, let's see you de-cleat someone out there! Rudy, hit that hole hard, baby! Steve and J.C., shake someone and get open! Big Clarence, Billy, Denny, Teddy and Al, let's see you move some bodies up there!! Hit, smack and keep those legs driving! You own these fools! It's all day, baby! All day!

Just humor me, people.