Today is

   "A word to the wise ain't necessary --  
          it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
					-Bill Cosby

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

There's the State of the Union Address, ...

. . . and then there's The State of the Blog Address.

I think it deserves a rebuttal.

Here's a start:

My fellow bloggers, Richard Scott Nokes stands before you today and declares that his mission to promote public discourse about modern medievalism has been accomplished. I wish with all my heart that the accomplishment of this mission were a matter of unfurling a banner declaring victory. But while Dr. Nokes struts before you in his blogging suit and proclaims "Mission Accomplished," actual public discourse about medievalism is mired in a quagmire and teetering on the brink of a civil war among Tolkien fans, Tolkien scholars, and remnants of the old anti-Tolkien regime.

I say to you today, my fellow bloggers, there has got to be a better way!


Blogger Jeff said...

(*sits next to fireplace*)

That's right, Kate Marie. Good evening, America, I'm the guy from "Quid Nomen Illius?" who hasn't posted anything worth reading for more than a month.

Dr. Nokes would like us to believe that he honors one of our greatest presidents by quoting him in his speech--but the faux egalitarianism of irresponsible cripple-quoting is belied by Dr. Nokes's shamefully elitist reaction to his students--one of whom, hoping only to honor a mentor and friend, is now forbidden from referring to Dr. Nokes as "Cuz." Earlier this week, Dr. Nokes also chided people who make homes for the short of stature, despite studies showing that such people are the segment of our society most in need of affordable housing. Worst of all, Dr. Nokes claims to support the institution of marriage, but just the other day, he told readers that he approached a wholesome story of traditional Western heterosexual love with a "foreboding sensation," judging in advance that the story conveyed "epic badness."

Dr. Nokes may be fond of unlocking his wordhoard, but today, good doctor, we ask you to do the American people this favor: please, sir, unlock your heart.

February 01, 2006 1:34 PM  

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