Dear Joel and Ethan . . .

Dear Joel and Ethan,

I would not be at all surprised to learn that you are proud liberal Democrats. Indeed, it may be unfair of me, but I have always assumed that you are. That assumption has never stopped me from appreciating and -- dare I say it? -- loving your work, which is among the finest that "the industry" has produced in the past twenty five years.

Could you do me a favor when you accept your awards tonight? Please don't insult me.

[I fall to my knees and clasp my hands together]

I'm praying to you. Look in your hearts.

With love and devotion,

Kate Marie