Mid-Morning report

This is why Hillary Clinton will never be president. She has too much baggage and she's far too divisive no matter how much she tries to reinvent herself as a moderate, warm and fuzzy senator these days. She's been having fun dancing and schmoozing at the disco in the darkness amid the strobe lights but once the presidential campaign begins and the mood lighting dries up and the "ugly lights" come on, most people will take a collective step back. Like it or not, a swift boat will look like the Good Ship Lollipop compared to what is surely to come Hillary's way.

And then there's cream-puff John. Does he really think that after his stint as the Breck Girl last fall that he has any viable future employment option other than game show host?

Not turning our eye from Zarqawi and the war on terror, it seems that, though he's still at large, "He's going from brush pile to brush pile just like a wet rat."

Meanwhile, U.S. and Iraqi forces are continuing to spray Raid on some of the remaining, scattering cockroaches around Baghdad.

And finally, I think it's time we sign some type of legislation banning these types of assault pies. I'm not talking about your standard apple or cherry, but we can't we at least get these lemon meringue and whipped cream weapons off our streets?