Today is


   "A word to the wise ain't necessary --  
          it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
					-Bill Cosby

Friday, July 27, 2007


I don't know about you, but . . .

... if someone told me they had to get Pilot his dinner, my reply would be "Oh, what kind of dog is he?"

Faithful reader Conservative in Virginia has sent along this news quiz about the names that various celebrities have given their children. Apparently, celebrities these days don't actually have children. They have license plates, puppies, comic book characters, and, in some instances, pieces of fruit.

They're infecting the rest of us, too. I've met far too many Dakotas, Brooklyns, and Montanas in recent years. We mere mortals haven't yet graduated from names of cities and states to pieces of fruit, but I suspect that by the time we do start naming our children Apple, Gwynnie will have to distinguish herself by naming her next two children Joseph and Mary.

For the benefit of our celebrity betters, I have compiled a brief list of suggested children's names that will shine in bright relief against the drab ordinariness of bourgeois nomenclature:

Thing 1
Thing 2
Barbarella
Racer X
Chim Chim
Adolph
Foghorn Leghorn
Shagrat
Australia
Guava
Faulkner Fitzgerald
Burnt Sienna
Moo Cow
Claymation
Bo Bo Cody

That last is actually the name of one of my beloved childhood stuffed animals. I was reluctant to part with it, on the remote chance that Sadeeq and I decide to bring one more little advertisement for our own uniqueness into the world, but I think Brangelina deserves it more than we do.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Lisa said...

Can you imagine what these children will say to their parents when they're old enough to realize what has been done?

At the very least, their names will stand out on their resumes.

It makes me extremely happy that my groom and I played the "How many ways can this name be ridiculed, mutilated or otherwise mocked?" game while choosing the moniker of our offspring.

July 28, 2007 7:44 PM  
Anonymous Gizmo's Dad said...

This is all a bunch of copy cat stuff from the brilliant and eccentric Frank Zappa, who named his children Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Rodan, and Diva. Moon was the voice over on the 80's hit "Valley Girl". (Like oh my god. . like totally.. that is sooooo gross)

July 29, 2007 7:14 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

I call dibs on "Moo Cow"!

July 29, 2007 11:14 PM  
Blogger Conservative in Virginia said...

Hey, KM, nice list of names for Stewdog's future grandpups.

July 30, 2007 4:46 PM  
Blogger stewdog said...

Actually, CIV, the Stewpups have nice normal traditional Irish first names and I suspect that they wouldn't saddle their bodiliy issue with celebrity nonsense names. But if this blog is still blogging down the line, I'll share what is chosen.

July 31, 2007 1:24 PM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

... if someone told me they had to get Pilot his dinner, my reply would be "Oh, what kind of dog is he?"

I would have asked why they named a boy "Pilot". It's a girl's name.

There's an off-chance Mr. Peck might get that, but it was at least a couple of decades ago. (Yes, I DID watch that show so very long ago. That's why his name rang a bell.)

August 17, 2007 8:06 AM  

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